Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she pinky promised me she was 18
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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