i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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