This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
