The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
