People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize