what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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