have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
