Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
