i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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