there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize