Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
