yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
