At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
