I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
