Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
