Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
