I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i drank out of a bidet.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
