I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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