That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
