Christians are straight up FREAKS
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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