so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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