is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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