i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
