can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
