I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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