fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize