i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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