her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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