so that wasnt chicken after all
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
