I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
