Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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