wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
