Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize