that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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