is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I deserve this hangover.
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