I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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