wanna go halves on a baby?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
