We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
