4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
