I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
