Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
