Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
