on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My vagina is officially offended.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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