If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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