This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
