either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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