Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well I just put wine in my tea
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
