dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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