Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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