i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
