hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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