How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need water and some morals
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
