i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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