Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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