If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
