I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
do herpes really smell.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
