at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
