I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
