I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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