she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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