Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
