tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
