I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
