so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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