Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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