The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
