Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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