Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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