he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
