I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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