He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
