and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
