I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize