woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
