Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
